2008 Woodie Awards
Neurotic girls
Janelle Green
Issue date: 12/5/07 Section: Opinion
As young children, most girls are taught that everybody and everything is out to get them.
Every time they go to cross the street they should spend a minimum of 10 minutes searching for the car whose main purpose in life is to hit unsuspecting pedestrians.
Whenever young girls are outside innocently playing with neighborhood kids, they are unknowingly being watched by their mother or father from a nearby bush.
They are told to be on the lookout for a man in a trucker's hat interested in showing them his newborn puppies in his giant white van that's parked in a deserted alley. As ridiculous as this all may sound to men, this is what many women are programmed to believe.
It's no wonder that as young girls mature into women they are constantly second guessing themselves and battling in trust related wars with the opposite sex.
Men have no shot in hell at finding a sane woman. There will always be doubt in a female's mind.
Not by choice, not because they don't want to trust you, and certainly not because they just want to nag-no, women are just crazy. But it's not their fault.
Behind every berserk, indecisive, clingy girlfriend, there is an abusive or unfit father, a cheating boyfriend, a husband who belittles, an uncle who undervalues or a male cousin who continuously insults her.
Men complain about a woman's ability to communicate with another woman without actually saying a word.
They whine about how females are sexist because they stand up for one another even when they don't completely agree with each other.
The sad reality of the concept of telepathic powers and "girl power" reveals that females are not supernatural nor do they have a sixth sense. All women have a mutual understanding that allows them to accept even the most outrageous acts, theories and ethical codes.
So call us crazy, but we blame the men in our lives.
Every time they go to cross the street they should spend a minimum of 10 minutes searching for the car whose main purpose in life is to hit unsuspecting pedestrians.
Whenever young girls are outside innocently playing with neighborhood kids, they are unknowingly being watched by their mother or father from a nearby bush.
They are told to be on the lookout for a man in a trucker's hat interested in showing them his newborn puppies in his giant white van that's parked in a deserted alley. As ridiculous as this all may sound to men, this is what many women are programmed to believe.
It's no wonder that as young girls mature into women they are constantly second guessing themselves and battling in trust related wars with the opposite sex.
Men have no shot in hell at finding a sane woman. There will always be doubt in a female's mind.
Not by choice, not because they don't want to trust you, and certainly not because they just want to nag-no, women are just crazy. But it's not their fault.
Behind every berserk, indecisive, clingy girlfriend, there is an abusive or unfit father, a cheating boyfriend, a husband who belittles, an uncle who undervalues or a male cousin who continuously insults her.
Men complain about a woman's ability to communicate with another woman without actually saying a word.
They whine about how females are sexist because they stand up for one another even when they don't completely agree with each other.
The sad reality of the concept of telepathic powers and "girl power" reveals that females are not supernatural nor do they have a sixth sense. All women have a mutual understanding that allows them to accept even the most outrageous acts, theories and ethical codes.
So call us crazy, but we blame the men in our lives.
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